Who To Tell
When something exciting happens who do you tell? Do you tell anyone?
There have been times in my life where I did not want to tell anyone about plans that I had or pursuits I was embarking on. I thought that if I kept these plans a secret my chances to success increased. My reasoning was something similar to the idea of a helium ballon where the less I let out the better my chances to fly and achieve success.
On the other hand, I have had times when I have deliberated on plans, I want to tell those closest to me. I don’t want to tell anyone and everyone, just those most special people. It might be that talking about the plan (goal) creates an expectation and that a “buzz” is created. This expectation pushes me forward, increasing my drive.
It is not a guarantee though. I’ve been through a time where doing this fell flat.
If we were to compare the two ideas above, I do not think one of these approaches is “right” or “wrong”. Maybe it is a personal preference sort of thing. I’m not sure about that either.
Let me explain.
I have learned (still am) to identify my feelings and mindsets about the “thing” I want to change and then use the appropriate approach.
What do I mean by feelings or mindsets? Emotions and thoughts that isolate us. The top two that come to mind are the voices of fear and arrogance. The fear sewing doubt trying to get you to pull back from chasing the dream, tell someone close to you. The voice of arrogance is putting you on a pedestal wanting to tell something out of turn, take a breath and pause in that moment. Both of these voices attempt take us out of the moment and our current environment and take us to a place that isn’t real.
When we hear one of those voices take a moment and look in the mirror, speak to that voice and act in spite of that voice. Act in a manner that keeps you connected to those around you, that brings you back to the present because it is only in the now that we can take action. As humans we need to be reminded of what is true.
As overwhelming and difficult as this will be, know that this first step is all about not believing a lie. Only when we reject the lie and accept reality, can we start taking action that will draw us closer to achieving the change. If we tried to take action based on a lie, we are using the false information to make decisions. This will only increase our chances of failure.
We need to start here and get out of our own way because the next step (making changes) involves the feeling of anxiety, it involves mistakes and screwing up. And oh yeah, the fear and arrogance are still there.
That’s okay because when we start here and learn this skill, we get tougher, stronger and smarter. We become more capable of achieving that dream and making change that will last.
I’ll unpack that part of the process in part 2.
Until then – Coach Nick