2. The Sound of Inevitability

Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.

-Carl Jung

What are we to do with the guilt we pile on as we approach the holiday meals?

Whether you are young or old, short or tall, stay-at-home parent or workaholic, athletic or lazy, vegetarian or carnivore, WHOMEVER you are & WHATEVER you eating style year-around, the holidays ALWAYS bring guilt/stress/pressure.

What should we do? Should we throw in the towel and call it a day? Should we shake off the guilt and forget about it? Is that even possible?

Half of the time I think “no” and that feeling this guilt is inevitable. That by the time the Christmas church services are upon us, it seems inescapable; we are all trying to fit into our church clothes like Santa trying to fit down the chimney!

Should we really be putting so much weight onto just two days?! (pun intended) I mean, what are we doing to ourselves? We are allowing just two days (only .54 of ONE percent of the whole year) to have complete control over our mind, our wallets, and our waistlines. I would suggest no that we should not, but that seems to be besides the point. Just yesterday I looked at some dessert beat and myself up for even thinking about eating it.

If you find yourself in this place with food or other parts of your life hopefully you are looking to get rid of it and change your current situation. If you are not, please know you do not have to stay in that place of guilt and you do not need to turn to despair.

Before diving into the “how”, I’d like to point something out regardless of the type of change we want to pursue. See if we do not address the presence of stress (whether it be from a single event, built-up over time, or in anticipation for the future) we will be setting ourselves up for failure in the long term. We cannot sweep feelings or thought under the rug and ignore them. We must face and address them, we must process them.

We have this inherent connotation that stress is out of our control when, in reality, it IS within our control. We are more powerful than the circumstances we find ourselves in.

Think though this with me…

What happens to us with things become too big or too chaotic, like we have lost some sort of control?

We stress out.

Now what happens when things go according to plan, remain structured?

We celebrate & relax.

As human beings we crave routine and predictability. It is our NATURE. It is literally who we are. Good change or bad change, our bodies & minds relax in the predictable but work through regular, consistent pressures. Even when we do not try to find a solution to a problem we have our minds are looking for a solution, for a way to make the unknown known. Realize you are so capable and talented that this happens all by itself.

As we understand this there is something else to realize, that if we attempt to consciously and intentionally make these changes and find these solutions, then we will not have to hit the home run. We can simply step up to the plate and swing. Even then, we will still strike out! And that’s OK. It is then, when we intentionally show up for practice, build confidence, achieve small successes through base hits, gain momentum, that we wind up batting .300 for life. (For the non-baseball fanatics, click here for significance of hitting .300).

When we intentionally attempt to incorporate positive change into our lives, be consistent and relentless; like the river that erodes the shore over decades. When we try the quick fix change efforts, we’re just as quick to pass those efforts off as something that is temporary and not very meaningful.

We are not confined by time, instead, we are DEFINED by the time invested.

As humans we crave the routine, structure, and predictability of life. It is because of this reality that we need to get real with ourselves. We need to get off our own backs and enter into this holiday season by not putting so much pressure on just two days. Our lives, and health, are not going to live or die by what we do or do not eat during these holidays.

If we can start to breakdown this mountain of stress, we will be able to start believing that we have control over being effective in our efforts. We can do this by opening the timelines in our mind and look at a farther-reaching picture that more closely resembles the length of our lives. We will begin to understand that not only do we have the ability to control and change, but that we should not expect ourselves to carry this guilt both now and in the future.

 -NT