4. No Drama From D.Lama
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if we can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” - Dalai Lama
So you’ve Readied Player One, now what?
Now comes the part in solidifying the support system behind you to fully succeed in whatever life endeavors you chose to take on.
What does a good support system do for us? It helps to alleviate the drama!
Through communication, inclusion, and humility we can create a support system rooted in companionship, unified commitment, and mutual accountability. A support system founded on these core practices will help begin the ripples of change as promoting instead of limiting.
How can we create such a support system?
1. Communicate your behavior changes upfront and ahead of time.
All of us has either been or seen “that” person who brings a non-traditional dish with less processed ingredients and more whole food ingredients. We have also gone up for seconds (or thirds) when we really just wanted firsts. What typically is the reaction from others? Curiosity? Negativity? Whatever it is, it can be awkward.
Talk about your choices with loved ones/those you’ll be spending the holidays with. Let them know of the decisions you’ve made to change it up for the holidays - that you ARE a little “off your rocker” :). It’s OK to make the conversation lighthearted but be specific in communicating your plan.
Doing this will help prevent animosity from forming and help prevent judgement or tension from being a part of the holiday gatherings. Communication is key to keeping your lifestyle choices from creating family drama and staying focused on a holiday full of love and cheer.
2. Include one another.
Another challenge you will assuredly face is trying to make these changes at home with other family members who may not have the same initial thoughts on the lifestyle and/or game plan for the holidays.
Include them, make it a family affair.
Our family for example:
I am pretty routine-focused with what I consume on a daily basis. I try to stay disciplined to my routine as it helps keep me from making impulsive decisions. Megan, on the other hand, likes a little more spontaneity and creativity in her food choices. Together, we are able to maintain a solid husband-wife team especially when we eventually brought the kids into the mix.
Our grocery shopping became more consistent. Our budget saw less restriction. Our home environment became less stressful and more relaxed. Most importantly, by not going at it alone, Megan and I are able to promote a unified message to our kids of how to value your loved ones health through healthy eating habits.
I know if I had tried to do it by myself that it would be so much more difficult not only because I would be isolated but also that I could potentially be promoting negative, condescending emotions toward my family.
3. Humbly help one another.
This last point is arguably the most important if we are going to try to adhere to the Dali Lama’s advice as we try and cultivate a healthy environment around these change efforts. I believe it is best achieved when we follow this passage from the Bible:
“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves” -Philippians 2:3
When we are humble and don’t count others as less than ourselves, then our focus is not on achieving the desired outcomes rather on creating a support system for others as well as ourselves. We are focused on ALL people involved. Having this focus at the start, and proceeding with the previously discussed tactics, is the best way to ensure that insecurities and judgments are minimized. It is also the best way to maximize the creation of an environment that promotes stress-less growth for you and your loved ones.
-NT